


Definitely Not a Sex Letter

by HeavensCrack



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Evan's letter, Gen, Mentions of Suicide, i mean it's deh so naturally, jared centric, sadboi hours activated, sort of in line with canon?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:02:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21656464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeavensCrack/pseuds/HeavensCrack
Summary: After Alana posts "Connor"'s note, Jared decides to read the "sex letter" himself.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	Definitely Not a Sex Letter

_I can’t believe it. Alana posted the creepy sex letter._ Jared shook his head. Evan was so, completely fucked. If he wasn’t fucked before… he definitely would be now. He had said before how the letter would go viral and ruin Evan’s life, and now that was becoming a reality. Honestly, Jared didn’t know how the fuck Evan got this far in the lie, how the Murphys didn’t realize in the last few months that none of this shit sounded like Connor. “Oh yeah, Connor LOVED trees”, said no one ever. Except Evan freaking Hansen, tree-fucker extraordinaire, and people actually _bought_ it. 

If he was being honest, Jared had no idea what the hell the letter said. Evan never told him, just had stammered something out about how Connor stole it and freaked out about Zoe’s name. This whole thing had started with a creepy sex letter, and Jared was just so glad that Evan never made him write any creepy sex emails to a dead guy- though, Jared could write sexy _really_ well. Not that this was the right time for that. 

Jared paused, his finger hovering the mouse, debating whether to click on Alana’s post or not. A storm was brewing, a festering shitstorm that was about to blow up right in Evan’s stupid face. Rightfully so, it was a long time coming. Evan was a dick, and he couldn’t live this cushy, perfect life with the Murphys forever. That nice life he’d always dreamed of, where he had rich parents who loved him, and he could jack off to Zoe Murphy and not have it be weird. Perfect life with the Murphys, all because of his super secret (gay relationship) friendship with the freak. As stupid as it may have been, thinking about Connor made Jared furious. Evan was so deep in his delusion that he chose a dead guy over a living, breathing friend, like Jared was nothing. His Connor wasn’t even Connor, anyone with eyes could see the freak didn’t have any friends, and he certainly wouldn’t start with a loser like Evan. Evan… well, Evan was one of Jared’s (best) family friends, and sure, they weren’t that close in the last couple of years, but for Evan to just waltz in and demand Jared drop everything to cover his ass and then ditch him when everything was how he wanted? That was low. 

Sighing, he clicked the photo. If this ship was going down, he wanted to grab the popcorn. Slowly, he started scanning the letter. 

_Dear Evan Hansen…_ What a nerd, writing letters to himself.  
_Turns out this wasn’t an amazing day after all. This isn’t going to be an amazing week, or an amazing year, because why would it be?  
Oh, I know, because there’s Zoe. And all my hope is just pinned on Zoe, who I don’t even know and who doesn’t know me. _ Oh, Evan. Those “true love” confessions to make a girl swoon.  
_But you know, maybe if did, maybe if I could just talk to her. The maybe… maybe nothing would be different at all. I wish everything was different._  
I wish I was a part of something. I wish anything I said just mattered to anyone. I mean, let’s face it, nobody would even notice if I just disappeared tomorrow.  
Sincerely, your best and most dearest friend, Me. 

Jared froze. _Nobody would even notice if I disappeared tomorrow. I wish everything was different. I wish anything I said mattered to anyone._

Holy shit. Holy fucking _shit._ No wonder they thought it was a suicide note… holy shit, was this supposed to be Evan’s? Sure, his pathetic life was, well, _sad_ , but he hadn’t realized it was this bad. He wasn’t alone, he still had his mom, and Jared… but as much of a dick as Evan was currently being, Jared had been the asshole for much, much longer. Jesus, had he really said that he was only being nice for the car insurance? That wasn’t completely a lie, but Jared didn’t _hate_ Evan, and he’d known the kid his whole life, and he certainly didn’t want him _dead_. 

Jared closed the tab, feeling sick to his stomach. Maybe Evan wasn’t the only one who was fucked. He reached for his phone, then moved his hand back over his mouth. Holy fucking shit.


End file.
